Right, so where do I start? This is a big area, which I’m going to split into four topics and examples, each getting their own post. These topics will be sexuality, racism, sexism. The fourth can be anyone’s suggestion. Get the fire engines ready.
This week, let’s go with… Sexism, the only reason being that Martin’s already lightly touched on this here. Three main issues in sexism really irritate me, being language, assumage of privilege, and behaviour. Of course other issues exist, but I can’t write for anyone else’s personal standpoint, at least without assuming.
Language fascinates me, verbal, written, even body language, and I strongly believe in the power of words and their ability to convey so much in so many different ways; anyone who thinks otherwise is either, 1. (Incredibly), more socially inept than me, 2. The most ignorant or arrogant person to others’ views, or 3. Is misunderstanding the whole point of language.
So, with that over, anyone who thinks it right to call anyone else a ‘pussy’, ‘cunt’, ‘dick’ or ’sissy’ deserves a verbal stoning. Words have effect on people, and even if you don’t mean them in a negative or offensive context, anyone else overhearing who doesn’t know you won’t realise this. It is a bad habit, and hard to get out of for when you aren’t with your friends, however whether or not you mean it, and I know not all people do, but consider WHY you’re using it. Why, of all the words in the dictionary and your entire existing vocabulary, use ‘pussy’ to describe a man more emotional, empathetic towards other human beings, and anti-violence than the male ‘ideal’ stereotype mainstream media idolizes? Not only is that offensive to women as many think, but to males as well!! Think about those points for a minute. Moreover, calling a woman a cunt gives her the justice to call you a cock, and vice versa. Where does it end? The meaning of the word is still there, and the language shifts haven’t happened yet (like ‘fuck’, it’s still not world-widely acceptable, though much more so than others) people are still going to find the above examples and others, offensive.
To use words with negative connotations even without intent to offend is conveying the meaning nevertheless, and doing nothing to stop someone else from using this language is making it more tolerable, and thus indirectly, the actions associated with them in society. People will take advantage of anothers disadvantage. We can’t risk this just in order for language ’shifts’ to come around; it’s too affecting an issue. Forget about political correctness, disregard the technical terms and bring it back to the basics. A 10 year old child being bullied* will easily show you otherwise, and the effect of words on another - so watch your mouths. As will a woman or man who has just been assaulted.
And what kills me most is the knowledge that those who aren’t ignorant to words do use them with negative intent. Yeah, you do know you aren’t any better than nazi’s? To dehumanise people and undermine certain ‘groups’ of people is one step or a couple away from genocide. Some want to be more superior than others, and take the easy route of damaging and demoralising others - but the opposite effect is gained instead. Face the facts, when it comes down to sex, sexuality, race, you’re really no better or worse than them, and you aren’t going to be able to do anything to change them for it.
Bringing us nicely onto privilege. You think you are better than someone? In terms of privilege, some might say you are, but others have privilege too. I have been told that as a female, I have privileges. Frankly, I see them as short term. So I can use my body and dress sense to gain the upper hand briefly, but in contrast noone will take me seriously, at least for long. If I dress minimally and do use the advantageous points of my physical female assets I’m suppressing my expression of feminism, and maintaining the stereotype that we are no more than eye-candy. A guy can use his authoritative status in society to get a decent job, wage, and promotion, and that’s evidently a lot more sustaining. Beauty fades pretty quick, whilst male authority doesn’t, and a meek, weak female stereotype which may gain me a few courteous actions will on a parallel reality get me no further than those few courteous actions. Like having a door opened, oh hoorah.
Enough negatives – when it’s all balanced out, and the pro’s and con’s all weighed down – well we’re all equal in the end. A person of ethnic or otherwise minority, can now level out racism or discrimination with the recent and controversial ‘positive discrimination’. Privilege? We all have it.
Here’s my overall view on it. Forget privilege and the such, just treat everyone equally and stop trying to balance out inequality with more inequality, like racism. Positive discrimination has been one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard of in my life. And don’t get me started on wealth and the privilege of status, as I’d then go into class, bourgeoisie, then control/power, before how much I love 1984.
Behaviour: it is unarguably ridiculous to me for women to call all men sexist. My trust** in men isn’t very high due to the amount of assholes I’ve encountered, and yet I know it is illogical to be prejudiced against men if you don’t like prejudice on yourself. However, I believed this until I heard an interesting argument from someone which was that yes, all men are sexist because EVERYONE in society is sexist. And this made perfect sense to me, (so hold on here before you get defensive!) We can’t help it, for example however much you are fighting for equality, until everyone in society is on your side, you’ll always be prejudiced against, and always be on some level negative about them. Did that make any sense? If not then consider this too – men, in real life and in mainstream media (it’s another debate if this is the cause or product of) will always, always, be critical of other men. In beauty, mentally, or intellectually. God, theorize it down to science*** if you will. It’s the same case for women, and because of this, we are all sexist.
From a young age (see my point on bullying) we’re somehow moulded in roles and expectations. This has its positive factors, but also its negative, the evidence being all around you right now. These roles are unrealistic, (men don’t have emotions, men should have no fear, men should fight – women are helpless, women can’t think, women should only look beautiful) and it’s all unbelievably limiting. Humans are all different, and we all have faults, and we should have the intellectual capability to move, realise and live beyond these faults now, learn from them. To have roles assigned to us like society has however is absurd. We shouldn’t have an aim like that, but should think about the present and improve upon what we have now, what we know is wrong now. It’s clear; you just need to look beyond what we’re given the impression of, to reality.
My final point is this actual acceptance of sexism, and prejudice. We’re all becoming so unempathetic and ignorant of other people, and what they might think. We’re not thinking! Whether this is TV, soap-opera’s and this drawing away from real life, dumbing down of our information and news, I don’t know. Maybe we are becoming less intelligent, but I don’t care about the education system and their ‘targets’ so much – what we need to learn is more about each other, and come back to real life, just as much as other topics of education. We seem to get ‘told’ what to think a lot more, through various means such as media, school, hierarchy, government, fashion, authority figures, celebrities, music and we’re less critical and questioning of it. Do we really agree with it? If so, why? Is it right? Is it wrong? Why is it so? What do they think of it? Why do they think that? Finally, What do I think?
I also realize that I can be lax on my language and humour, and you shouldn’t always take me too seriously when I am. This post might sound hypocritical because of that, but I’m working on this, it’s a habit and hard to get out of. It’s all fine reading and talking here, but go and do it (I will too). In order to change the world you must first change yourself. I’m completely serious on this one.
