Sep 26
The Indian Way of Doing Things
So - Indian Politics; it’s rather different to how we do things in good ‘ol Blighty. People here are generally more offensive, demanding and downright irritating. A lot of them have a chip on their shoulder because they’ve ascended above the rest (not that hard to do) and don’t consider themselves a part of the great unwashed, now you can probably glean a rather great insight to the working environment already from the previous sentence but i promise you it’s much worse than that.
I don’t know about most of you but the way i like to work is slightly different to that. I try to be courteous, understand and ask people NICELY (Yes, I’m looking at you) if they could do something for me. I also happen to be quite understanding when you don’t get something done almost instantaneously, in fact even if you forget to do it i won’t come yelling at you whilst wobbling my head and generally making a prat of myself. What about the Indians? Oh no, because they’ve managed to successfully pass Ashmar Enterprises First class course in “Computer - making it go” they demand the earth from you and expect it in double time.
Well, i have news for you I’ve come back to India and I’m going to reclaim this god forsaken country as British territory and teach you all a god-damnned lesson. You don’t yell at people when they make a mistake the first time, you don’t threaten my job, you don’t try and motivate me by saying “BUSINESS PRODUCTIVITY DEPENDS ON IT” because frankly, the only thing on my mind right now is “What am i going to eat for lunch?”. I seriously couldn’t care less if business productivity depends on it so pull your thumb out your ass and treat everyone courteously. You will also learn the definitive article THE.
Ok, enough of that. My next biggest irritation: Rickshaw drivers Jesus christ! These guys are horrific. Just because I’m of the white folk clan, it means I’m expected to tip every man and his dog and pay a big fat 100% premium on Rickshaw rides. An example: a journey that should’ve cost 30 Rs/- going from the shopping mall to home - one cheeky bastard tried to charge me 150 Rs/-. “Fuck off” was my stern reply, which just caused more incessant head wobbling insomuch as i thought it was going to fall right off his stained shoulders. Bloody hell, “Okok 120 Rupees”. GR they *all* do this to me, just because they think they can make more money out of a white guy.
India is a nice place, but some of the people need to fuck right off.
*sulks*
Well I’m honoured that you expect a reply from me.
But to be honest, i’ve never been to India so I can’t argue with you. However, the rickshaw problem sounds pretty much like what you’d expect absolutely anywhere. I pitty you. Have fun children.And stay out of trouble.
I haven’t laughed that hard in a very long time. Congratulations Martin.